


helios

by emales



Category: Emily's Originals
Genre: Poetry, personal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2019-11-18 14:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emales/pseuds/emales
Summary: the one that gives this work its name





	1. laugh

you laughed when 

   our lips first

 met

        and when we met

  you didnt want to dance

    (i didnt know how  eit-

 her )

       when i grasped your

 hand i apologized

  (dont say sorry  i have 

sweaty hands too)     you just 

  laughed and kissed

my fingers 

        when i first blurted out those words

  you smiled   (i didnt mean it to come out like that)

    but you told me 

         that was the perfect way for it to be said

    when you said it back

                 on my back patio with 

mosquitoes biting my thighs i 

laughed 

    (i didnt think you felt 

  that way about 

me   ) and you kissed me

        i believe it

   when you whisper those words

against

my lips (sorry if i taste like

      mangoes)


	2. tonio

“moptop”

i remember my nickname for him

the cinnamon-skinned friend 

who treated me like a sister

we fought quite a few times

over petty things

but we were quick to forgive

we complained to each other

about our love lives

we wrestled

while our families were on his porch 

he was my brother

we were there for each other 

through thick and thin

we could speak openly to each other

and i guess our friendship was very strong

because it’s lasted

all this time

somehow

through our bickering 

and our teary-eyed confessions

through our late night jam sessions 

and mid-afternoon water gun fights

he became 

my brother

  
  


9-23-15


	3. helios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one that gives this work its name

helios - god of the sun

   i beg you to show me

 light

    (tell me what i can

 live    for )

tell me any-

  thing

   i beg      i cry

      for a sign -

 your flower springs

up i grasp it and

     let my fingers fall a-

way (dont kill it em let

   it grow)     i need to 

 grow (bre athe)

 

 

 


	4. t.

i was the first 

    to call you by your 

  given name            to kiss 

your lips    

    to feel your 

skin 

     you were the first

  to make me feel 

       alive (to reassure me

  that i 

      have a purpose    that i can

be some-one)       i was the 

  first to question your 

      knowledge (yes biology is important 

   but what did you notice about

                the hut scene)     about everything 

 and yet nothing in the grand

    scheme of things

you were the first       to make me question

   my 

        self


	5. rita

       saint rita i beseech you

to guide me        it will be 

im-  

     possible (and we both know

  that is your specialty)    to be perfect

               please

  help me

         i cant do this on

   my own


	6. heart

(lubb) the sound of

   atrioventricular valves  clo-

sing rings clearly through 

     the stethoscope

       (dubb) the sound of  the 

 semilunars closing       fills the doctor’s 

ears

      (your heart beats

   in the ice chest

                         wait-ing to 

meet you)

       the sheer pericardium

  is glistening             clean and ready 

        to protect your heart

this heart

              has chordae tendineae that 

will work (not snap )     this time

        (doctor burke promises

   it will be okay   ) 

                         this heart (your heart) will save 

  you

           will pump blood throughout

  all of you

                  this heart (your heart)    will be 

 strong

how could something so

  soft yet firm

            hold such power 

 with-in its (fist sized)     walls

       take care of 

   my heart   (our heart) 

for       me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this for a health science clinical rotations assignment lmao  
> had to be about the cardiovascular system so of course i made a grey's reference and had it be a lil emotional


	7. missed

i didnt re-

       member how it 

  felt

          to be embraced

    by you             (took too long    )

          yet 

  today

         felt like no

   time had passed

           the sun was smiling

    grass billowing

                 (did you feel 

      like today was blessed)          did your 

  heart feel

     full

                                            (mine

   did)


	8. last

to-day

            was the last day

    on that stage

               with all of 

   my family

            i love

   (i will     always

        love)       that feeling

  of the wind

                on our faces after

     the storm has 

passed

      but now

          it is

    passed


	9. scared

im sorry that my 

   palms sweat so much

       (you know how hot it gets

here)   im sorry that im

   shak-ing a bit im sorry

   im a nervous wreck

(im sorry for apologizing so much   ) 

    im sorry that      i worry too much

  babble a ton

       im really bad with

words

    i guess im just

      scared to mess up


	10. future

they tell us not 

  to fear the 

un-known but

    my heart pounds

( i cant

             i cant) i dont know if i can do 

  this

              i dont know

    i hate not knowing

           i hate the dark ocean 

   that floods my lungs when i think

    of the future

   (i cant breath e)     im absolutely

 terrified             but they tell me not to be

              (put on a brave face   )   i 

smile

      but the waves still

   knock the air out of me

     (one wrong step

just one)

 could lose it all


	11. you confuse me

you confuse me 

     more than the    explanation for the  way the moon

  controls the waves 

                 ( everything is so 

     new to me )               it is like

                       the appeal of hot air 

   balloons

                         the feeling of the    wind in your hair       your face 

         the sight of the 

world beneath you                                            (it is absolute   

                  -ly terrifying      i hate heights) 

     i want to see everything 

                      from a  new    perspective

    help me


	12. heart

the tides come and go but they remain

you come and go

but you can leave at any moment

you're not a constant

you can leave me, you can go

you can walk away as you wish

you are not tethered to m(y heart)e

as much as i wish you were

(please don't go,

be like the waves)


End file.
